WHEN BIRTHDAYS AND THANKSGIVING COLLIDE
Yesterday was Thanksgiving in the United States and it also happened to be my birthday. “I hope you had a lovely day.” is the usual response when people find out. I wish I could truthfully answer, “Thanks, I had a GREAT day!” and leave it at that, but yesterday my reality was slightly different. So, here’s the long story…
Birthdays in our household start with a pancake breakfast. Normally cooked by me, the substitute chef was hubby on this occasion. I’d prepared the batter the night before but having run out of normal gluten-free flour, I added coconut flour to make up the difference. Any bakers reading this will already know the problem, and for those that don’t, it basically means the pancakes didn’t cook well because the texture is so different. We sorted the problem but delays meant I was late for work.
On the way to work, hubby called to say our son Ben, wouldn’t be going to school, his tummy was sore, could he drop him to me? Then five minutes before he dropped him at work, he rang again, this time to say Ben had vomited, wasn’t it a good thing he wasn’t at school!
Thankfully, my boss is also a mum and was happy for me to continue working from home. In between looking after my vomiting child and trying to get my work project completed, I had a bit of a laugh to myself at how my birthday was turning out.
By evening, hubby had returned, not feeling well himself and after a super busy day, had work deadlines that needed to be met that night. My planned movie night flew right out the window and in the end, we skipped the birthday dinner and bought takeaways. Neither of us were up for cooking. We did however, make sure we sang “Happy Birthday” and lit the candles on the (pre-bought from the supermarket) birthday cake, before putting it back in the fridge to eat when everyone was feeling better.
Ben finished the evening off for me by vomiting (for the first time ever in his life!), on the closed lid of the toilet, flooding the floor. Usually he’s pretty pro at vomiting – he had lots of practice as a baby!
So now you’ve heard my day, how would you expect me respond to, “I hope you had a nice day.” In truth, I did have a great day. But not for the obvious reasons – because there weren’t many. I had a great day because I chose to celebrate progress.
I’ve been learning a lot of late about the power we have to make our own choices. I’m a powerful person when I choose my response instead of allowing circumstances to dictate my reaction.
As I was driving Ben home, I reflected on last year’s birthday – which also didn’t go so well. Last year, I got grumpy and felt unloved and under-appreciated. I realised it happened that way, because I let it. This year didn’t have to be the same. I could choose my emotions and how I responded to the circumstances around me. And that became my personal victory.
Yesterday, I turned my birthday into Thanksgiving and chose to be thankful for my (usually) healthy family. I chose to be grateful for an understanding boss and a job where I can work from home. I chose to value the opportunity to demonstrate love and comfort to my son when he’s feeling sick. I set myself up to work outside to make the most of the sunshine, with my bare feet on the grass, breathing the fresh air – something that can’t be done while working in the office. I chose to be thankful for a husband who works hard for our family and his shareholders while still making time for me. I decided I was still going to watch a movie and snuggle on the sofa even while hubby typed away next to me. I chose to notice all the effort people put into my day to make me feel special and I chose to feel loved – because the truth is that I am. Yesterday, I said no to believing lies and yes to experiencing joy. I chose to be a powerful person and respond positively to my circumstances.
I share this with you to encourage you in your own journey. You are not alone in your struggle; we all have things that don’t come easy to us, things we feel we don't have power over. Yesterday, I won. Other days I haven’t. But I’ve learnt (finally!), my failures don’t determine my future if I don’t let them. They are opportunities to learn and keep moving forward. We can all choose to be powerful people. You have power to choose in the circumstances you face right now. You are a powerful person!
YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
You were born for greatness! When you were woven together in your mother’s womb, the ingredients for existence were poured into you and the plans and the purposes for your life were written into being.[1] You are not an accident. You are on this planet to do something that only you can do. But it takes time. Greatness is not an overnight thing. We have many things to contend with–in this thing called life–to help refine us, so we can contain the greatness we’ve been called to.
Recently I started reading through the Bible chronologically and have been struck by how many times the early biblical heroes messed up–and I’m only up to Jacob! They made some rookie mistakes–and then some of them, even made them again! But God kept His promises to His people and more than that, sometimes He even let them benefit from their sin[2]. I don’t pretend to understand that (and I’m definitely not condoning sin), but I realised (again!) God is God. I won’t always understand His ways; why certain things happen or what is to come in the future. But I do know He is El Shaddai, the God Almighty.
Like Abraham and Jacob, sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes we do the best we can in a moment and in any other moment we might do better. People can throw us curveballs, life can rock us and what we thought we understood can be turned completely on it’s head in an instant. Continuing to wait for something–whether it be circumstances in health, relationships or finances–to turn around, can wear us down.
It’s when we’re tired and confused that it’s easy to let the guard down around our heart and our mind. We can start to believe things that just aren’t true. When we’re tired, the battle is always harder.
So to everyone who is feeling tired, a bit worn out or unsure about where you’re at, I want to tell you that you’re doing great. Father God has seen your struggle, He’s right there in the midst of it with you, though you may not have been able to feel His Presence. I see Him gifting you a bouquet of flowers. The flowers are significant of what you need right now. To some I see Him whispering tender words of love in your ear, letting you know how special you are to Him. To others, He's releasing additional angels to protect you and your loved ones. To some, He’s calling out, drawing you in so you’ll pour out your heart to Him[3]; He’s longing to come to you as the Comforter. In all of this, you are not alone in your circumstances.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “How enduring is God’s loyal love; the Eternal has inexhaustible compassion. Here they are, every morning, new! Your faithfulness, God, is as broad [large from one side to the other][4]as the day.”[5] Every day we’re given the opportunity to start afresh; we are able to keep the dark clouds of yesterday from spoiling our blues skies of today. Walk in truth today, you’re doing great! Keep going!
[1] Psalm 139:13-16
[2] Abraham gaining flocks from lying about Sarah being his sister (Gen 12:16 & 13:2, Gen 14:20); Jacob deceiving his father and gaining the blessing over Esau (Gen 27:1-29); Jacob gaining large flocks from Laban by his deceptive breeding practices (Gen 30:25-40).
[3] Psalm 62:8
[4] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/broad
[5] The Voice translation
PERMISSION TO CHANGE DIRECTION
You are not stuck; you have permission to change direction!
I wish someone had once said that to me. The saying goes, “The only constant thing in life is change.” That may be right, but it doesn’t make it any easier for certain personality types (one of which is mine!) Change is not easy for me. Understanding my boundaries and people’s expectations make me feel safe; I know what I’m dealing with. Plans are my allies; they work with me to achieve my future. They provide a framework that is the safety net for my mind. Unfortunately, these things can sometimes keep me stuck and restrict my potential because I fear free falling into the unknown.
I wish someone had once told me that it’s great to have plans and a framework for the future. And that it’s helpful to understand people’s expectations. But these are not restrictions to be tied to. Instead they are a reflection of how my Creator made me in order to outwork my purpose.
Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” This means we have dreams we want to see fulfilled and hopes we want to come to pass, but it the Lord himself who establishes us. We can try to make things happen in our own strength or we can stick rigidly to the way things were. Either is not God’s way. We must be willing to listen for the whisper of our Heavenly Father and to walk in step with the Holy Spirit who will guide us.
For me, to let go of things where other people are involved feels like failure. I feel like I’ve let people down and haven’t followed through on my word. Other times, it’s the fear of people’s perceptions, what I think they’re thinking, that keeps me stuck; I don’t want to look like I’m wavering to and fro.
But the truth is, life is dynamic. We constantly face change. It’s okay to have to adjust what we’re doing, in order to keep pace with what God is doing in our lives. At times, we have long periods where it feels like nothing is happening at all, but God is going ahead to prepare the way for us. Other times, so many adjustments are taking place, we feel like we’re lying on a chiropractor’s table. And sometimes, we just don’t like what is being asked of us. No one season is more virtuous than another. All are necessary because they teach us different things.
I’m here to tell you what I wish someone had told me. You have permission to change direction. You are not stuck in the past. You are not stuck in what happened to you. God’s purposes have not overtaken you and left you behind. You are in His loving hands and He is guiding you towards your future. Trust Him. He’s totally and utterly faithful. Listen for the whisper and when you hear it, be willing to move. He will establish you and it will be beyond your wildest dreams!