WHEN BIRTHDAYS AND THANKSGIVING COLLIDE
Yesterday was Thanksgiving in the United States and it also happened to be my birthday. “I hope you had a lovely day.” is the usual response when people find out. I wish I could truthfully answer, “Thanks, I had a GREAT day!” and leave it at that, but yesterday my reality was slightly different. So, here’s the long story…
Birthdays in our household start with a pancake breakfast. Normally cooked by me, the substitute chef was hubby on this occasion. I’d prepared the batter the night before but having run out of normal gluten-free flour, I added coconut flour to make up the difference. Any bakers reading this will already know the problem, and for those that don’t, it basically means the pancakes didn’t cook well because the texture is so different. We sorted the problem but delays meant I was late for work.
On the way to work, hubby called to say our son Ben, wouldn’t be going to school, his tummy was sore, could he drop him to me? Then five minutes before he dropped him at work, he rang again, this time to say Ben had vomited, wasn’t it a good thing he wasn’t at school!
Thankfully, my boss is also a mum and was happy for me to continue working from home. In between looking after my vomiting child and trying to get my work project completed, I had a bit of a laugh to myself at how my birthday was turning out.
By evening, hubby had returned, not feeling well himself and after a super busy day, had work deadlines that needed to be met that night. My planned movie night flew right out the window and in the end, we skipped the birthday dinner and bought takeaways. Neither of us were up for cooking. We did however, make sure we sang “Happy Birthday” and lit the candles on the (pre-bought from the supermarket) birthday cake, before putting it back in the fridge to eat when everyone was feeling better.
Ben finished the evening off for me by vomiting (for the first time ever in his life!), on the closed lid of the toilet, flooding the floor. Usually he’s pretty pro at vomiting – he had lots of practice as a baby!
So now you’ve heard my day, how would you expect me respond to, “I hope you had a nice day.” In truth, I did have a great day. But not for the obvious reasons – because there weren’t many. I had a great day because I chose to celebrate progress.
I’ve been learning a lot of late about the power we have to make our own choices. I’m a powerful person when I choose my response instead of allowing circumstances to dictate my reaction.
As I was driving Ben home, I reflected on last year’s birthday – which also didn’t go so well. Last year, I got grumpy and felt unloved and under-appreciated. I realised it happened that way, because I let it. This year didn’t have to be the same. I could choose my emotions and how I responded to the circumstances around me. And that became my personal victory.
Yesterday, I turned my birthday into Thanksgiving and chose to be thankful for my (usually) healthy family. I chose to be grateful for an understanding boss and a job where I can work from home. I chose to value the opportunity to demonstrate love and comfort to my son when he’s feeling sick. I set myself up to work outside to make the most of the sunshine, with my bare feet on the grass, breathing the fresh air – something that can’t be done while working in the office. I chose to be thankful for a husband who works hard for our family and his shareholders while still making time for me. I decided I was still going to watch a movie and snuggle on the sofa even while hubby typed away next to me. I chose to notice all the effort people put into my day to make me feel special and I chose to feel loved – because the truth is that I am. Yesterday, I said no to believing lies and yes to experiencing joy. I chose to be a powerful person and respond positively to my circumstances.
I share this with you to encourage you in your own journey. You are not alone in your struggle; we all have things that don’t come easy to us, things we feel we don't have power over. Yesterday, I won. Other days I haven’t. But I’ve learnt (finally!), my failures don’t determine my future if I don’t let them. They are opportunities to learn and keep moving forward. We can all choose to be powerful people. You have power to choose in the circumstances you face right now. You are a powerful person!
PERMISSION TO CHANGE DIRECTION
You are not stuck; you have permission to change direction!
I wish someone had once said that to me. The saying goes, “The only constant thing in life is change.” That may be right, but it doesn’t make it any easier for certain personality types (one of which is mine!) Change is not easy for me. Understanding my boundaries and people’s expectations make me feel safe; I know what I’m dealing with. Plans are my allies; they work with me to achieve my future. They provide a framework that is the safety net for my mind. Unfortunately, these things can sometimes keep me stuck and restrict my potential because I fear free falling into the unknown.
I wish someone had once told me that it’s great to have plans and a framework for the future. And that it’s helpful to understand people’s expectations. But these are not restrictions to be tied to. Instead they are a reflection of how my Creator made me in order to outwork my purpose.
Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” This means we have dreams we want to see fulfilled and hopes we want to come to pass, but it the Lord himself who establishes us. We can try to make things happen in our own strength or we can stick rigidly to the way things were. Either is not God’s way. We must be willing to listen for the whisper of our Heavenly Father and to walk in step with the Holy Spirit who will guide us.
For me, to let go of things where other people are involved feels like failure. I feel like I’ve let people down and haven’t followed through on my word. Other times, it’s the fear of people’s perceptions, what I think they’re thinking, that keeps me stuck; I don’t want to look like I’m wavering to and fro.
But the truth is, life is dynamic. We constantly face change. It’s okay to have to adjust what we’re doing, in order to keep pace with what God is doing in our lives. At times, we have long periods where it feels like nothing is happening at all, but God is going ahead to prepare the way for us. Other times, so many adjustments are taking place, we feel like we’re lying on a chiropractor’s table. And sometimes, we just don’t like what is being asked of us. No one season is more virtuous than another. All are necessary because they teach us different things.
I’m here to tell you what I wish someone had told me. You have permission to change direction. You are not stuck in the past. You are not stuck in what happened to you. God’s purposes have not overtaken you and left you behind. You are in His loving hands and He is guiding you towards your future. Trust Him. He’s totally and utterly faithful. Listen for the whisper and when you hear it, be willing to move. He will establish you and it will be beyond your wildest dreams!